thoughts

Ok... so I am sitting here waiting for Bren to get home so I can head to a full day of oh so exciting classes and I decided that I should blog down some of my thoughts. First we will start with the ever present and important money issue....
~Ok so money wise... I have a little bit right now but not nearly enough to pay all the bills, rent and all the other stuff that comes along with living away from home. I definitly wish that I had more time so that I could get a job and be making a little extra cash to do some of the small fun things in life.... when you add in the price of a babysitter the cost of your evening at least doubles. We definitly could stand to get some groceries in the house. It seems like lately we have been doing a little bit of grocery shopping here and there when we have the money and it is gone before we open the fridge... problem. I know bren is working alot and she needs a little time to relax and I really want to be able to take her out to see rent which she is dying to see or a movie that we both want to see etc. but it just seems like there is never the money to do it and I feel bad about that... she deserves a break. I still have some books that I have to buy for a couple of classes which I think I am going to do today but then again there is more money that I won't have for bills... life is hard in a capatilist society lol... ok on to other thoughts...
~ I feel like i have been neglecting Fag and the activist side of me... you can tell by the address of my blog that this is something that is important to me and my life and I feel like I just haven't been able to do all that I was hoping to do. I was finally getting back on track and i had been to the last 2-3 meetings of fag for the semester but then I ended up having that week and a half of funeral fun which only added up to more time spent on school work etc. I am hoping that I will get to go to the meeting tomorrow but all in all who knows. I feel bad bringing Jess sometimes because as much as everyone says that they don't mind it is a distraction that is for sure plus there is the whole issue of is it fair to her to bring her to a meeting where she is just sitting quietly for an hour or so getting yelled at by me for making too much noise etc. It's not her choice to go and she's 5 you know. Anyway, so I read the enormous amount of emails that I recieve daily from fag and I wonder why I am so out of the loop it is because I am just not as active as I used to be. It's weird because I have 2 classes again this semester that require some sort of project and it was never hard for me to get the hours in and do these projects but now all of a sudden I find myself wondering where I am going to get the time for these things.. and if I am really donating enough of my time and energy to fag to count it... maybe it will help me to make a bigger dedication to the cause.
~Classes. Classes are going alright. It is hard to catch up when you miss that much school. I am a little nervous about a couple of classes... namely nutrition and Masani's class. Masani's class is more because of the fact that she is the chair of my dept and the effort that that class entails.. I am not behind but I feel like the paper I handed in yesterday should have and could have been better. As for nutritian... I just don't like it for one. I mean yes there are certain things that are interesting. Not so bad really but there are so many other things that I am just like... ok why do I care. I mean yes it is important to know what you need to have a healthy diet etc. but then again do I really need to know the why? Do I need to know exactly what happens to protein when it enters my body.. maybe the basics of you need protein for X,Y,Z but how it actually goes about working isn't important to someone that is not in that field nor ever will be. I mean look at it this way. It's not really something that affects my everyday life... as long as I know approximately how much protein I need a day and I come close to that then the inner workings of my body don't seem that important to me... plus I can find this information on the back of any food product... percent daily values is a wonderful thing. Ok so besides the boring argumnent.. because alas there are going to be classes that you would rather die than attend it doesn't help that we learn practically the same material on tuesday in lecture and and on thursday in lab. I am currently three labs behind because of my week and a half miss... I just can't get back on track because I can't figure out the damn program that we learned in lab class while I was out that is the basis of pretty much all labs from here on out... I predict a problem. Not to mention the fact that as far as I am concerned I look at lecture halls as stupid.. it's so impersonal and so pointless... I will walk out of that class probably knowing little more than I walk into it knowing. At least with women's studies the topics are relevent to my everyday life... and the main goal of the curriculum is to make you think for your self not to make you regurgitate everything you memorized back to the teacher for a good grade and then forget it all. At least in Masani's class I know I will walk out of that class having learned something... having been in the presence of greatness and having soaked up all of it's rays. I dont know this is just my little science versus social science rant that i tend to do every so often and i know there are people who would much rather be in the hard sciences and that is what makes the world go round because both sciences are important to our existence and our advancement... just don't expect me to understand it... it's not going to happen. I mean I have never done poorly in the sciences and this class it honestly can be attributed to lack of interest yes but mainly missing as many classes as I did. I mean for me to bullshit my way through a memorization class has never been hard for me it's just been pointless so I guess that is the message I am trying to get across and this my friends is why I think that gen eds or at least some of them are useless... why do I need to bullshit my way through a class where I feel I am not learning anything and walk out of it as empty as I was before when I could be using that time and those credits towards something that is important to me and will effect my life... ahhhhh.... I can't wait to be done with this god forsaken school.