Hurricane

Ok so I have been spending a lot of time working on my thesis which happens to be about the construction of race in this country. So I have also been watching the news to keep up on the Hurricane in the south. Boy has that given me something to write about. Did anybody else see the pictures of the black woman and the white woman coming out of the stores with baby formula... maybe someone can explain to me why the white woman was "doing what she needed to do for survival" and the black woman was "looting and rioting." I don't get it. I have had many conversations with people recently about my thesis and about the Hurricane and sombody please tell me why nobody can see how racially charged this Hurricane experience has been. Letting alone the incident on the news which I just spoke of above but New Orleans and the surrounding areas are heavly populated with African Americans and for some reason, it took days to deploy the coast guard down there for emergency rescue, the emergency rescue missions were stopped because peope were looting.. of course they are looting... they have NOTHING to survive on. What did you expect them to do. The stores are all flooded anyway does it really matter much if a woman is taking formula to keep her baby alive and more importantly is that really a reason to stop trying to rescue people who are drowning. There have been more and more reports about how big a catastrophe this is and how many people are going to be dead at the end of it... not hundreds but thousands... oh well what a shame maybe we should go tend to the looters instead of pulling people out to the water. How does someone's brain work like this. Is it more important to arrest people for doing what they need to do to survive or to save more people. I dont' get it. When is the madness going to end. When are people going to wake up and smell the coffee. Alot of what happened could have been avoided... alot of the damage and definitly a lot of the deaths but when you are dealing with a bigoted gov't headed by the biggest bigot of our time and you are talking about a place that is mostly african american people... i guess I see how it happened. Oh well I got to go... more to come... I hope.

Lori and Brenda's top 10 list of ways that Six Flags makes you feel OLD!!!!

Ok so on the way back from Darien Lake tonight Brenda and I came up with a list of about 25 ways that Six Flags can make you feel old.... here are our favorite 10... hope you enjoy and keep in mind that all 10 are true...

#10 The lazy river doesn't seem so lazy any more

#9 Going to the Park no longer leaves you energized and excited... instead it leaves you utterly exhausted

#8 You find yourself packing a cooler and sandwiches to avoid the extremely overpriced food items that your parents always tried to avoid buying

#7 You have become the person who buys the waterproof canister necklass to keep your money (and your cigarettes dry)

#6 You find yourself willingly making conversation with people twice your age

#5 You find todays bathing suits more than a bit too revealing

#4 You find yourself shaking your head numerous times at "the youth of today"

#3 You find yourself critiquing the safety of every ride you go on

#2 The water slides don't hold the same appeal for you because there is no way you could possibly make it up that many stairs 2 times in a row nevermind carrying the raft with you. (this applies to smokers and non-smokers alike)

#1 Your FAT ASS can't fit in the seats of all the rides!!!

Ok I will update as I usually do.. .

So here is life in a nutshell... well possibly a fairly long nutshell...

school...
Ok so as far as school is concerned everything is going alright. I have about 15 pages done on my thesis so that is about half done. Beth is supposed to be finding out whether masani is reading and grading my paper or if she is this week so she can let me know next time we meet. All i have to say is that if it is the new chair and beth is wrong there is going to be hell to pay.. I do not like this lady. So far she has... cut beth from teaching, the 213 collective was shut down which was the class that most people entered the major through, she has Voichita teaching 101 which will have to take over that spot and draw people in.. but the curriculum for that course is drier than dry and at least I don't find Voichita to be the most welcoming of teachers, apparently she is thinking of canning Caroline (the assistant to the chair of our department), the nicest sweetest person you will ever meet, while Masani was trying to make her full time. Well I guess I will stop there... enough is enough of this shit. I am so glad that I am getting out of the department now and that I will have nothing to do with this chair. Besides she is a sociologist.. .that is how she made a name for herself not through women's studies and from what I and the people around me have seen she doens't hold true to any feminist ideologies. I still have to do and get in my nutrition labs because to be honest I really just haven't had the time to sit and get those done with all the other stuff I am doing right now in fact nutrition is worrying me the most out of anything that I have to get done this summer. Spanish is actually going pretty well. A friend of mine told me that it was going to be really dificult to do in the summer because of the amount of stuff you have to learn and the short time in which you have to do it but right now from my figuring I should have an A right now. So that about wraps up school right now...

Job...
Ok so I have been giving this a lot of thought lately. what am I going to do when I finally get done with school? Beth said that she can help me out in finding a job within my major and I am hoping that she comes through with that. In the meantime however I have an application that I am debating dropping off at the Wilson Farms across the street. For now it will at least be something and it will be convenient enough considering bren and I are working on one car. I have had the application for a couple of weeks now and I just haven't brought myself to turn it in yet. I guess I am just debating whether or not it's something I want to do. I mean a job is a job but at the same time I am about to graduate from college do I really want to be working a cash register again? Well only time shall tell how that pans out. I guess it wouldnt' be all that bad until I find something better.. .a little extra money in my pockets.

Kids...
Well we just dropped jon and jessie back off at grandma's last night after a fun trip to Darien Lake with them. (check out my livejournal for my personal opinion) I think Jon enjoyed it and I know Jessie did. I just feel bad that we didn't get to stick to our plans and take the kids on monday like we wanted to but Bren's mom decided that Jon had to be back up earlier than she originally said. Oh well thus is life. Jessie either has really bad heat rash or really mild chicken pox but they don't seem to be getting any worse so I think we are deciding that it is heat rash. Oh well... i kinda wish it was chicken pox because at least then it would be over with it's better for her to get them when she is young and during the summer so she wouldnt' miss any school. Well I guess that is about it for the kids right now.

I guess that's about it for the update too... later

Yikes

Ok so this is disgusting. I know that brenda blogged about this a couple of days ago and I am a little bit behind the ball but I'm sorry I can't just let this one slide by. Ok first of all the "gay panic" defence is just the same as "white fear" and I am writing a paper dealing with that right now. It's just amazing to me the things that can hold up and even be legitamate defences in our courtrooms. "White Fear" is basically a defence that says that the defendant was so afraid of said non-white (usually black) person that they felt as if they had to kill them. This is basically self-defence against someone's race. This defence can be and has been used and successful before in courts. I don't know what everybody else seems to think but to me... claiming this defence is basically confessing to a hate crime which should buy you more time in prison not get you off. If I am saying to you that I am so afraid of black people that I had to kill the one that was in front of me at the time... isn't that basically saying that you killed him because he/she was black? The same thing goes for "gay panic"... it goes something like this "oh my god I thought that guy was hitting on me so I killed him" or in this case "I thought my son might be gay so I beat him until he slipped into a coma and died" hmmm... doesn't that just scream hate crime!!! He KILLED HIS SON BECAUSE HE THOUGHT THAT THE 3 YEAR OLD WAS GAY!!! Come on people does anyone else see where I am going with this. First of all I wouldn't be surprised if he has or would be involved in ANOTHER hate crime against a gay person and lets be real either this guy has some pretty intence gaydar to pick up on a 3 year old OR he is a little too touchy about this issue. Ok so I guess that's it on my rant on this guy but there are just three words for this story... Oh My God!

Stuff

So here it is... I have about 5 minutes if that to write. It's Angela's birthday and we are all going out for a while. I have decided that my blog is not living up to it's name so I am going to focus on more radical things with the occasional update on my life too. So since I don't have the time now this is just an update but that is the future plan. Hopefully once I get done with all this school shit I will have the time to really look at the news and critique it but until then... alas I am stuck. Anyway, school is going pretty well. I didnt' get nearly enough done tonight.. too many interruptions but I am hoping that the quiz tomorrow will be ok anyway and then I will have some time to work some more on my paper before meeting with beth tomorrow night. Yes that's right I am meeting with beth and she is finally getting a look at all the work I really haven't gotten around to on my thesis yet. Oh well I have been working on it the last couple of days and pounding out some more pages of the actual paper at least. I guess we will see how it all goes. I didn't get through the books that I was supposed to be looking at for her but I did get through some of them and I have notes on them of stuff I want to plug in and if I finish plugging them in than I guess maybe I don't have to bring any evidence of how much I didn't actually read... I dont know maybe it is just me but I really felt like a lot of this stuff just wasn't relevant at all but then again I guess Beth knows better than me. Tara is buckeling down and she has gotten quite a bit done on her thesis so I am proud of her... I just wish I could do the same... I am so focused on being done with school that the things that have to get done before I can be done just aren't on my mind for some reason but you know what... Bren you are right... I just have to focus on this stuff for another 2 months and I am done with it so I guess I really have to put all that work energy that I have into the schoolwork for the time being. So yeah that's it about school I guess because quite frankly... I dont want to even talk about it anymore :(

So incase you guys didn't see it I now have a link up to my puppy's new blog... he's so cute so if you guys want to take a look at how the puppy is going and all the fun little things like pictures etc... check it out. If for some reason you can't use my links... the website is www.darkanddevious.blogspot.com check it out and let me know what you think... comments are always welcome lol... unless you are going to say that Bren and I are too obsessed with the dog... cause we already know that lol. Ok well I guess it is time to be going and meeting up with those friends of mine that I rarely see anymore... Off I go and a good night to all. :)

School

So here I sit at school again killing time before it is time to run off to abnormal psych. We have a test today so that should be fun. That means at the very least that I should be getting out a little bit early.. yay. Oh and lets see... I have a quiz in Mythology tomorrow... well every friday and they suck... I definitly failed the first one.. it was ridiculous.. i wish I was taking it with the same professor everyone else took it with... at least I hear he was fun.. .but no I have the graduate student.. dude look like a lady ;) so I don't know what I am going to do. I guess that means I am going to be studying my ass off after I get out of psychology tonight because I don't know anything that she wants us to know. I have to have a response paper in to her by monday and that class is just driving me nuts.. I mean it's really interesting and it would be a lot of fun if I wasn't too busy stressing over her insane expectations of what 90% of the class who have never had a greek nor mythology class in their lives are supposed to know... she is filling every class to the brim with stuff with a ton of reading every night and she expects us to know and absorb every tidbit from it for these damn tests... and we are not talking have a general knowlege... no she wants the specifics... it's crazy... excuse me for not knowing the greek word for truth.. what relevence does that have... ahhh... ok so enough ranting about that class.. I have about 15 minutes to get to my other class and then decide where I am going to go to study afterwards... stupid summer hours... the library is only open til 9... wtf. Ok so Jessie is with Jessica again and that's great... gives me a little bit of a break and some free time ... well if you consider classes and studying to be freetime. So I ran her in to Aunt Ellen's and Uncle Ken's house tonight and Aunt Ellen stopped me to let me know that we are going to be their bowling partners for the upcoming season... starting in like late august early september.... haha I'm going to be in a bowling league.. should serve to be interesting. Ok well I really should go but just a little reminder to everyone out there as to why I am SOOOO excited about this upcoming weekend... PRIDE!!!! Enough to put anyone in a better mood.. at least if you ask me. Love you baby.... hope you are having fun at work and hopefully I will have gotten enough studying done by the time that I pick you up that we will be able to get some stuff done before we go to sleep... the house is a disaster... ok bye for now :)

Peace

Ok so I am currently sitting at the computer at school trying to print my hw for the night. Yes that's right... summer classes have begun and are in full swing already. The computer is being stupid... whenever I try to print I am getting a message saying that the document exceeds the # of pages allowed or some shit like that. I didn't write it I'm just trying to print it... ahh not fair... If I don't get this to print I dont know what I am going to do because I need it for tomorrow. Anyway so here is what's new in life. I started classes today. Fun stuff as usual. bren is at work right now and we have a babysitter for Jessie so that I can have some time for hw and thesis and stuff of that nature. I have a feeling that I am in for a very full summer. Ok well what else... it feels so good to be out of the house. I am convinced that I was completely losing my mind because there was just nothing to do anymore and Jessie although I love her to death was driving me nuts... just too much time in the house I guess so hopefully school time and stuff like that will help. Midnight is doing well. He is listening a lot better, sleeping through the night and all... it's great. Very few accidents.. again a plus. Bren is doing well too. Even though today was the first day I think that she is really enjoying her new work schedule. It gives her a little bit of time to be home during the day and get some stuff done that she needs to do and god knows that I love not having to get up at 4:45 every morning. So that's working out well all around. Jessie has field day tomorrow at her school so bren and I are going and we are competeing. That should be fun. I told bren we are probably the best parents to be competing so we signed up lol. Ok well I guess I really should try to figure out a way to print this so I will talk to you all soon. Lots of Love... Peace

that's me

You Are a Plain Ole Cup of Joe But don't think plain - instead think, uncomplicated You're a low maintenance kind of girl... who can hang with the guys Down to earth, easy going, and fun! Yup, that's you: the friend everyone invites. And your dependable too. Both for a laugh and a sympathetic ear. What Kind Of Coffee Are You? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

update

ok so here it is... we figured it out!!! Last night we figured out a routine for midnight that helps him to sleep through the night. If you don't let him nap between 8 and 11 and you play with him a bit then by the time 11 o'clock roles around he is so tired that he sleeps through the night... success. We had a our first decent nights sleep in a while thanks to that oh yeah so good a nights sleep that Jessie was a little late for school cause we all over slept. Hey I think we needed it and she'll only be like 5 mins late anyway. So Bren and Jessie are on their way to school and I am using this time to catch up on the things that I wanted to do... like blog. The puppy is definitly doing so much better. He hasn't been having the accidents in the house really and now with the sleeping through the night that we are keeping our fingers crossed that he continues to do ... all is well. We bought some flowers yesterday to plant in the front yard to spruce it up a little bit but I think we got a frost last night so we had to pull all of the flowers in and off the porch for now. This weather is crazy I mean it's 80 one day and like 30 the next... something has to give. Bren works today from 2-10:15 and I am going to have jessie and Dolores. Dolores is the 3 year old daughter of one of Bren's coworkers and she needed somebody to watch her today so that she could work some extra hours.. we figured since they have watched Jessie for us more than once... why not. So that should be fun... I bit exhausting cause that means a 3 year old, a 6 year old and a puppy but all is good... and it shouldn't be that bad. Ok well as a sims update cause that is what I am about to do... bren and I are both old now... we have a kid named Jamie and Jessie is an adult. We moved into a huge house but don't have the money to furnish it.. oh well.... such is life. Talk to you all later. it's SIMS TIME!!!!

so...

Ok.. tired oh so tired. Dog kept me up all night last night and then Jessie kept me up this morning. I can't wait for brenda to start working nights... this 5:30 bullshit has got to go. So I am sitting here after taking brenda to work at 5:30 and Jessie to school for 9:00, took Brenda from breakfast at work and now it is a little bit of blog time for me then school work. So speaking of school.. in order to graduate this summer here is the list of things I must do...
1) Finish incomplete for Colins and hope that she grades it (doing that today)
2)Take classes over the summer
3) Finish up my incomplete for nutrition over the summer
4) Get in my paperwork by the begining of July
5) And last but definitly not least, what promises to be the hardest part of my summer... my senior thesis. There is something really daunting about writing a 50 page paper... I don't know if it is just me but damn.

Ok so that wraps up school... as for last night.. the couple of hours that I did actually manage to sleep I had a really bad dream... well if you want to know what it was ask and if I deam you worthy... I shall tell you but believe me when I tell you it sucked.

The house is coming along nicely... I am quite pleased. I love having a porch and a yard... it's great. Jessie is enjoying the time she gets outside too which is always a good thing.

Oh and then there is this... because of the new computer I have been able to rediscover sims but this time it is in the form of Sims 2... ok well first things first... brenda hates it... mostly because I play it ALL THE TIME! but as usual I am addicted. Right now Bren and I live in a 2 bedroom house. Jessie is completely grown up but is still living with us and we have a brand new baby girl... Jamie. It's really cute they grow up in this version... man it's great... oh and in case I forgot to mention Bren and I are also only 5 days away from being considered elders but lord knows that by our lifestyle that won't be much of a change... Let me know if you want to be added into the sims game... it could happen. Oh another interesting thing that came out of the sims game. Bren and I discussed baby names and we have successfully named our first born son. Robert Edward Dean-Stein. So if you know us well enough I am pretty sure you can figure out where these names came from. If not... well keep guessing and maybe we will tell you. Luv you lots
Lori

110 Banned books, Well... yes if I've read it .... no if not
#10 Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman... no
#11 The Prince by Niccoli Machiavelli ... no
#12 Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe... of course
#13 Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank... yupper... and I own it
#14 Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert... no
#15 Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens... I think so
#16 Les Miserables by Victor Hugo... no but I have seen it does that count?
#17 Dracula by Bram Stoker parts... no
#18 Autobiography by Benjamin Franklin... no
#19 Tom Jones by Henry Fielding....no
#20 Essays by Michel de Montaigne... no
#21 Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck ... no
#22 History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire by Edward Gibbon... no
#23 Tess of the D'Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy... no
#24 Origin of Species by Charles Darwin... I'm sure I have read parts of this... well I know I have
#25 Ulysses by James Joyce...no
#26 Decameron by Giovanni Boccaccio... no
#27 Animal Farm by George Orwell.... of course... doesn't everyone read this at some point
#28 Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell.... yeah but as much as I know it's a sacralige... I didn't really like it.
#29 Candide by Voltaire... no
#30 To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee... read it... own it
#31 Analects by Confucius... I think I might have it but I haven't read it yet
#32 Dubliners by James Joyce... no
#33 Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck... no
#34 Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway... no
#35 Red and the Black by Stendhal... no
#36 Das Capital by Karl Marx... no
#37 Flowers of Evil by Charles Baudelaire... no
#38 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle... no
#39 Lady Chatterley's Lover by D. H. Lawrence... no
#40 Brave New World by Aldous Huxley... no
#41 Sister Carrie by Theodore Dreiser... no
#42 Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell... actually no
#43 Jungle by Upton Sinclair ... I have at least read parts of this... very disturbing
#44 All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque ... no
#45 Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx ... no... maybe parts
#46 Lord of the Flies by William Golding... no but i own it
#47 Diary by Samuel Pepys... no
#48 Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway... no
#49 Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy... part of it... maybe all of it
#50 Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury ... no
#51 Doctor Zhivago by Boris Pasternak ... no
#52 Critique of Pure Reason by Immanuel Kant.... no
#53 One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest by Ken Kesey... yes, yes, yes... I loved it
#54 Praise of Folly by Desiderius Erasmus... no
#55 Catch-22 by Joseph Heller... no
#56 Autobiography of Malcolm X by Malcolm X... no
#57 Color Purple by Alice Walker... no but I think I am going to... saw the movie :)
#58 Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger ... one of my absolute favorites
#59 Essay Concerning Human Understanding by John Locke... I dont' think so
#60 Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison... no
#61 Moll Flanders by Daniel Defoe....no
#62 One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn... no
#63 East of Eden by John Steinbeck... no
#64 Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison... no
#65 I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou... no but I want to
#66 Confessions by Jean Jacques Rousseau.... no
#67 Gargantua and Pantagruel by Fran?ois Rabelais... no
#68 Leviathan by Thomas Hobbes... no
#69 The Talmud... no
#70 Social Contract by Jean Jacques Rousseau...no
#71 Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson... yes... why is this banned???
#72 Women in Love by D. H. Lawrence...no
#73 American Tragedy by Theodore Dreiser... no
#74 Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler... no
#75 Separate Peace by John Knowles... yes... but I didn't know this was banned.. why??
#76 Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath ... no
#77 Red Pony by John Steinbeck... no
#78 Popol Vuh... no
#79 Affluent Society by John Kenneth Galbraith... no
#80 Satyricon by Petronius... no
#81 James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl... no but I didn't know it was possible for Roald Dahl to be banned lol
#82 Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov... no
#83 Black Boy by Richard Wright... yes
#84 Spirit of the Laws by Charles de Secondat Baron de Montesquieu.... no
#85 Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut .... no
#86 Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George.... no
#87 Metaphysics by Aristotle... no
#88 Little House on the Prairie by Laura Ingalls Wilder... no
#89 Institutes of the Christian Religion by Jean Calvin... no, maybe parts.. I'm really not sure
#90 Steppenwolf by Hermann Hesse... no
#91 Power and the Glory by Graham Greene... no
#92 Sanctuary by William Faulkner... no
#93 As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner... no
#94 Black Like Me by John Howard Griffin... no
#95 Sylvester and the Magic Pebble by William Steig... no
#96 Sorrows of Young Werther by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe... no
#97 General Introduction to Psychoanalysis by Sigmund Freud .... no
#98 Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood ... I love this book... read it... own it
#99 Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee by Dee Alexander Brown... no... but it's a great song
#100 Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess... no
#101 Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman by Ernest J. Gaines... no
#102 mile Jean by Jacques Rousseau... no
#103 Nana by mile Zola... no
#104 Chocolate War by Robert Cormier... no
#105 Go Tell It on the Mountain by James Baldwin... no
#106 Gulag Archipelago by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn... no
#107 Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert A. Heinlein.... no
#108 Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Peck... no
#109 Ox-Bow Incident by Walter Van Tilburg Clark... no
#110 Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes.... yes... great book... read it... own it

Okay... so the conclusion that I have come to after going through this list... I have my work cut out for me... I have a lot of reading left to do... I have read Heather Has Two Mommies though.. I know that was banned... does that count?? And Jessie Owns it :) yay for banned books!

more updating... copied from live journal

Ok so I am just chilling, waiting around for Bren to get out of the bathroom so that we can finish are card game (yes, I know, laugh all you want. We're old) and then it is off to bed. Well this week is looking up actually. Tomorrow is probably going to be the longest day ever let's see... 1st Take Bren to work for 7:00 get Jess off to school by 9:00, me to class by 11:00 then it is over to talking leaves and back to campus reading the book I buy at talking leaves inbetween. Class at 2:00 that goes until 5:00 then get Bren from Alumni and back home to pick up Jessie and finish puppy proofing the house. That's right I said puppy proofing. Bren and I picked out a dog on Friday... very exciting... and he comes home on Tuesday. His name is midnight. We got him at the spca in angola and he is the cutest friendliest little guy you will ever see. And he absolutely adores Brenda. He cried everytime she walked out of sight. So we have been spending the last 3 days shopping for puppy stuff which I must admit... although it is expensive it's a ton of fun. So now we are all set for the new addition to our family and you all have to come over and see him. He is a Lab and they think Terrier mix. I will admit that his head is slightly out of proportion to his body right now but all kids have big heads right. lol He is only 2 months old and he is all black with just a couple white hairs on his chest (hence the name). I just can't wait til he is home. Jessie is really excited. She has been helping to clean up and get ready for the dog. She shopped with us and she is counting down the days. It's great. Puppies are fun. The best part is that I told her we could walk it down to the bus stop every morning with her and she was so excited. She hasn't seen him yet except for his picture online which I must be honest does not do him justice at all. Just wait until you all see him. So, moving on from there... considering that he is estimated to get to be about 50 pounds and does not therefore fit into our landlord's category of a small dog I guess that means that we are moving this summer. We have already started to look and if anybody has any ideas let us know. Of course... it must allow pets and we are looking to rent like the lower of a house or something with a yard... preferably fenced in for both Jessie and Midnight.... aww every kid should have a dog... this is going to be great. I just hope that he ends up likeing me as much as he apparently likes Brenda or I might feel just a tad bit left out. Oh well, other than the dog everything is going well. This saturday was penguin days which is always fun. We took Jess to the aquarium and that was fun than we headed down to anchor bar for some wings... it doesn't get much better than that let me just tell you. Today was kind of a quiet laid back kind of a day. Complete with cleaning and shopping. The house is looking pretty good. Well not including the bedroom of course... I dont think we will ever get to the bottom of this bedroom no matter how hard we try.. and believe me on occasion we try and that just leads to me getting discouraged. Ok well I guess that is enough for now even though bren isn't out of the tub yet... I guess it's time to wake her up.. something tells me she is sleeping in there.. leave me some love :)
PS... It looks like everything is working out school wise and with a little bit of hard work it looks like I will pass all of my classes and be able to graduate this summer.... THANK GOD!!!

Fun times

Lori Anne Stein's Aliases

Your movie star name: Cookies Al

Your fashion designer name is Lori Venice

Your socialite name is Baby Dyke New York

Your fly girl / guy name is L Ste

Your detective name is Dog White Plains High School

Your barfly name is Nachos Long Island Iced Tea

Your soap opera name is Anne David Terrace

Your rock star name is Rieces Pieces Jaguar

Your star wars name is Lormid Stebre

Your punk rock band name is The Ok Computer

The Amazing Meganame Generator

midnight

hehe.. puppy, tuesday, rock on.. isn't he cute. This picture does not do him justice at all though.
http://www.petharbor.com/get_image.asp?RES=Detail&ID=A108147&LOCATION=ERIE1>

Cookie Monster

Ok so Bren read me something last night about how Cookie Monster is essentially going to learn how to eat cookies in moderation due to the new sesame street kick on health this season. I for one am very dissapointed. There was a lot of talk saying that childhood obesity is higher than ever and that it is a way to teach kids that "cookies are a sometimes food"... NO. What the hell is this world coming to that even kids tv show characters can't eat tons of cookies anymore. Ok here is my real WS approved problem with this. First of all... the government has been making such a big deal about the amount of people who are obese etc... but what they don't tell you is that they changed the standards on obesity not so long ago and using their standards my father is obese and believe me if you met him you would think that that was obsurd. So yeah obesity rates are climbing and the requirements for being considered obese are dropping... hmmm correlation there maybe. Ok so moving on to argument two, we already live in a culture that is absolutely saturated with body image problems due to media, 7 year olds dieting to be as thin as the models they see, people having gastric bypass surgery and literally stapleing their stomachs to lose weight. Do we really need to add to this? I think not. These inane ideas about putting puppet monsters on essentially a diet is teaching kids the wrong message. It's making kids that are 5 and under think about what they eat and what it can do to your body... essentially making them a new generation of kids that are going to grow up with even higher rates of eating disorders and such because of poor selfesteem and body image distortion. I never thought I would see the day when sesame street was contributing to this phenomena. ahhh it's just not right. We want our lovable monsters from old school television back on... they didn't do us any harm!!

Pride Baby

Marriage is love.

Dyke Rating

You're butch. You have little use for femininity
because frankly, it never got you anywhere.
Guys may find you intimidating, but once they
get to know you, you're not so bad. You're
empowered and sometimes stand up for women's
and gay rights. If you own a motorcycle, you
probably also know how to strip it and perform
your own repairs. If something bugs you about
your house, fixing it is no problem. You may be
a little shy about decking, tile work,
electrical work, plumbing or hanging windows.
Once you figure out how to do it, there isn't
much holding you back.

What is your Dyke Rating?
brought to you by

survey

Seven things in your room:
1: Tv
2: computer
3: desk
4: dart board
5: lamp
6: bed
7: dried roses
Top seven things you say most:
1: I love you
2: you suck at life
3: I miss you
4: stuff
5: shit
6: fuck
7: crap
Do You:
Smoke? yes
Do drugs?: I’ll admit it but not as much anymore
Read the newspaper?: not usually
Pray?: nope
Have a Job: I'm a student and I am helping to raise a five year old... job enough for me
Attend Church: no
Attend Synagouge: no
Have you ever:
Gone skinny dipping?: nope
Had a medical emergency?: yes... asthma attack
Had surgery?: no
Swam in the dark?: no
Been to a Bonfire?: yep
Got Drunk?: definitly have 21st birthday was a killer
Ran away from home?: no not really... I was all set to once though
Played strip poker?: yep
Gotten beaten up?: not unless you count my sister and the neighbors when we were little
Beaten someone up?: nope
Been on stage?: yep
Slept outdoors?: yep
Pulled an all nighter?: yep
Been on radio/tv?: yep
Been in a mosh-pit?: yep
Do you have:
Any gay/lesbian friends?: gee this is a tough one... I would have to say yes
A wallet?: yep
Coffee?: not right now
Cologne/Perfume: yes... eddie bauer baby
In the last 24 Hours have you....:
Cried: nope... but I did a whole lot this past week
Bought someting: nope
Gotten sick: nope
Sang: yea I think so
Been kissed: yupper
Talked to an ex: yes
Talked to someone you have a crush on: if you can count my gf here than yes
Missed someone: yep
Hugged someone: yep
Sex with someone: hell yeah

Life Catch Up...

Ok so the last week has been quite hectic so here is the catch up. So lets start on sat... my parents decided to come up by train to see grandpa after I went to the nursing home on friday night so they were scheduled to get in around 3 in the afternoon. Bren went to work in the morning and I got a phone call around 11:30 from aunt Linda asking for dad's cell phone number because Grandpa passed away that morning. So unfortunately mom and dad missed out on seeing grandpa but I think he was really just ready to go. Apparently while uncle Dave and Aunt Linda were visiting him in the home he actually asked Uncle Dave to Kill him... "Dave come here... I always liked you... do me a favor... KILL ME" "I can't do that dad they would put me in prison" "Well, I don't care... I won't be here" So yeah I think he had enough ... so I picked up mom and dad at the train station and we went to the apt for a little bit, went out to eat and took them to Aunt Linda's. Mom was being mom and I think that's all there really is to say about that. Spent some time talking with Aunt Linda and Uncle Dave and headed up to get Jessie from Grandma's so she could be home for easter... we brought her home... she went to sleep and then woke up and we went back to grandma's for easter dinner. Bren and I took Jon and Jessie for a couple of days which I have to admit was a little hectic givin the timing. We ended up leaving Jon with Jessie alot and although they were fine... kids will be kids to say the least. Well... Grandpa's wake was pretty much all day on Monday I headed down there on my own cause Brenda had to work and both the kids were here... so I headed down there and actually got there without getting lost which I must say was amazing... It was really hard... I mean my cousins are always funny and they definitly lightened the mood a bit but it was still really, really hard... grandpa didn't look good at all. I am pretty sure that alot of it was because we were so used to seeing him up and about and active which had not been the case with Grandma but honestly just looking at him was enough to make me cry... coming home that night I was honestly wishing that I had a picture of him somewhere that I could have looked at to get rid of that image in my head... I dont think I would have even recognized him had I not known who it was. So spent so well overdue time with my cousins and their kids and learned quite a few interesting family secrets to say the least... Then I came home and Bren and Jon had fixed up Jessie's room and had rearranged some stuff in the living room... which I have to admit I loved... then it was off to bed becuase it was a long night had by all and only more of the same to follow.
Tues: Ok so Tuesday is funeral day... Wake up run to old navy to get Jon some clothes because after monday I knew I couldnt' do the funeral by myself... and off to make the funeral by 11. We get there... Dad, myself, Uncle Jim, Michelle, Jenny and Tim were pall bearers for grandpa and I have to admit that was really hard... not to mention that grandpa's coffin contained his playboy calendar... again only my family could smuggle porn into a church and actually get the priest to bless it. So we did the funeral thing and then it was off to the reception... pretty much the same as grandma's at the fire hall and everything. They brought an album of grandpa's and I sat down with aunt betty (grandpa's sister) for a while to try to have her tell me who it was in the photos and all that... it was almost entirely a pre-grandma album but there were a surprising amount of pictures of his ex-wife and children in Hawaii.. which for some reason I found extroadinarily intriuging. Scratched off some lottery tickets in grandpa's honor and we were on our way to aunt linda's house. Where Brenda, Jenny, Tim, Mike, Michelle and I decided we were going to break out the old Ouija board and so we did. It was fun... who knows if Tim was pushing it or not but the things that got said were some scary and some funny as hell. Apparently even the Ouija board believes that my mother is a rag lol. Anyway so yeah... lots of time with the Ouija but apparently Jon decided to curse and uncle Dave yelled at him about it... he wouldnt' come back in the house... but really he doesn't know uncle dave... its' just his personality... he jokes around and he comes off really really harsh. So yeah then it was back home... fun times.
Wed: Went to my Spanish class... took a test that I was totally unprepared to take but she said she wouldn't count my absenses against me and whatever grade I pull off is mine so that was good... I waited around on campus for a while and went to what I thought was my 3:00pm meeting with my undergraduate advisor... wrong.. after waiting around til about 4:00 I went to check my email and found out that the meeting was really at 2:00 which means I missed it so I emailed the professor back and asked if we could meet during her office hours the following day... then I made an appt to meet with Masani the following day as well. Went home dropped the kids off at brenda's job and then it was off to TJ's wake... ahhh hard.... that's all I can really say about that right now... the computer just erased everything I wrote about it previously so ... Come home take the kids back up to grandma's and back home to sleep.
Thurs: Off to TJ's funeral... once again HARD... then it was home and back to north to make those meetings... well I get there to find that Masani cancelled our meeting and piya wasn't in her office hours... another pointless trip... yay... so did some stuff with Iris to work out the summer session stuff for next semester and I was off to go home and help brenda cook and clean for dinner.... but not without stopping at the grocery store first and spending enough money to make it so we don't have all of our rent money anymore... ooops... we will have to figure something out there.. so home... clean, wait for people to come... a much needed break.. the dinner went off without a hitch and I think everyone had a good time I know i did... so so much food that I am still eating the leftovers... Shaun gave Brenda and I tarrot card readings and Bren had a great one but mine on the other hand...
Tarrot Reading: Well let's see... First off... my mother and sister are a combination of worried about me and mad at me... they are constantly talking about me and why I am doing what I am doing... (very true... this I knew) My dad is the buffer between me and my mother and sister... he is the one sheilding me and protecting me from them (also true)... Ok now... Dad apparently although he is showing me one face and protecting me from them he has another face that he is not showing yet... he apparently has something that he needs to talk to me about that won't be too hard necesarily but it won't be great we just have to work through it... let's see then there is going to be "just one more death"... Ahhhh no more deaths... enough is enough... it's apparently going to be accidental which means it could pretty much be anybody because they don't have to be sick which is oh so comforting... but that is all he could tell me about that. Then let's see... I am going to walk away from this shitty semester with a new appreciation and closeness to my friends and the people around me due to the numerous deaths.... The two meetings that I have scheduled to talk with my professors are going to go unnecessarily harsh apparently... he even asked me if I was in danger of being dropped from my major... not that I know of... scary thought though.. considering I am going into my last semester... ok so everything is supposed to somehow work out in the end... I dont know ... no more deaths and why do people have to be mean... I don't get it... ahhh
Up til Now: Everything has pretty much calmed down now. things have settled... we go up and get Jessie today and then it is back to school for her. And lots of catch up for me... I have been hanging out with my friends a bit more since the dinner which is good... I miss everyone but life has just been too busy and too hectic for me...

Playing Catch up With Books.

#5- Getting Mother's Body by Suzan-Lori Parks So... I really thought that I had written this up already so if I just couldn't find it I apologize. This was another book pick by Rocky... another good one if I do say so myself. I enjoyed this novel alot. It's quick to get through because it is hard to put down. I suggest that everyone read it.

#6- Like Coming Home: Coming out Letters Edited by Meg Umans
Ok this was great... A bit redundant but then again I guess a lot of people go through alot of the same things when coming out to their family and friends. I found myself connecting to alot of the things that were talking about... it really makes you think... a quick read and I recommend it.

#7- In Your Face Stories from the Lives of Queer Youth by Mary L. Gray... Ok this book kinda went along with #6 it was a group of young queers sharing their ideas and experiences about different issues. Each of the people had an essay in each of the chapters discussing many of the issues that young queer people face in their daily lives... from school to the internet it's all there. It was interesting and again I could see the connections between their expereinces and mine on numerous accounts. another good quick read. (They have to be quick when you are only reading for fun inbetween school books).

#8- Breath, Eyes, Memory by Edwidge Danticat... this was another book that I read for my Global Literar4y Discourses class. It's about a young girl sent from Haiti to New York to live with her long estranged mother. It's really a great novel and I would definitly recomend it to anyone who has the time to read it... (also an Oprah book lol).

More Easter Madness in my Life

Grandpa passed away yesterday... well I have to get ready to go up to Bren's mom's house I am going to update again soon.

obituary

REINHART - Timothy J.
3/26/2005
Timothy J. Reinhart, of Amherst, a University at Buffalo senior who was studying abroad, died unexpectedly March 17 in Tokyo, Japan, following a brief illness. He was 21.
Known as "TJ," he was born in Buffalo and was a graduate of St. Joseph's Collegiate Institute. Mr. Reinhart was a brain cancer survivor from the age of 13 and volunteered for the American Brain Tumor Association.
Fluent in French and Japanese, he was studying at International Christian University in Mitaka, a suburb of Tokyo, to receive a degree in Japanese and International Trade Commerce.
Mr. Reinhart was a computer analyst at International Christian University and a beta tester for Sierra Software.
Survivors include his parents, Daniel and Maria, both of Amherst; a sister, Rachel of New York City; and his grandparents, Catherine and Donald of Amherst.
A memorial Mass will be offered at 10 a.m. Thursday in SS. Peter & Paul Catholic Church, 5480 Main St., Williamsville.

Here we go again....

Ok so I write this as my parents are in a train on their way up here and after spending a good portion of the day yesterday at the nursing home. So.... Grandpa isn't doing so well. I went down to see him because I said (on the blog) that I was going to make the concious effort to get down there more often and because I was hearing from mom and dad that he wasn't doing so well. I wasn't prepared for what I saw. Grandpa was laying in bed... I dont think I have ever seen grandpa in bed in the nursing home at all or in his room for that matter. He was always rolling around in his real wheel chair hanging out with people and keeping the nurses on their toes. Well now they have one of those special reclining wheel chairs for grandpa so they can keep him out at the nurses station when nobody is there with him. He was in his room and in his bed and although he tried to talk to aunt linda, brenda and I there was just no getting through. I couldnt' understand anything he was saying... it was so hard. Apparently his kidney's have begun to shut down and he is affixiating so he is not really eating or drinking. It seems like a double bind to me... you can't survive more than like 3 days without water and fluid but when he drinks some of the time the fluid is going directly into his lungs so in essence the drinking is drowning him. I dont know it seems like he should be on an IV or something for fluid but aunt linda says he will haunt her for the rest of his life if she does that. He told aunt linda that he wants to go home. Where he can sit on the porch and grow his cucumbers. He's staring off into space a lot. It's like he sees people or things in the room that none of us can see. A little creepy but interesting and intriguing all at the same time. I suppose that could be the dehydration and the hunger as well. Oh yeah and they keep him sedated day round so who knows what can be attributed to the drugs as well. Dad and mom are on their way up here and I have to pick them up around 3 and take them down to the nursing home. Aunt Linda called dad last night and told him that the home called her at work and told her that they thought he was having a heart attack so she rushed down there but she found him fast asleep so who knows. All of this followed a phone call I recieved the night before I went to the nursing home....

A friend called me up on thursday night and told me that my friend TJ from school had passed away... no way unbelievable I actually tried to convince his best friend that he was lying to me and that it didn't happen. He was studying abroad in Japan and apparently he became ill... went to the clinic... and all they did was give him tylenol and he later passed away. His parents flew out visit with him and they found him dead in his dorm room.... that's the story I heard although there have been a lot of them but I tend to believe this one because Chris who called me heard it straight from TJ's parents. I don't know. Life is just too weird sometimes. 3-4 deaths in a 2 month period is just too much for me to deal with. It's weird... there is always something about the deaths of young people that drive me over the edge. I had a friend who died in High School due to a car accident and I honestly wasn't too close to her but she was in my gym class that year because she had moved back from Florida... my mom said that we used to play softball together and we were really good friends when we were little... sleep overs' and all apparently and I dont remember any of this... weird but anyway... that funeral hit me like a ton of bricks... nothing seems fair in life after seeing this... and I will be trying my damnest to go to TJ's wake and funeral but I don't even know what's going on with my own family right now. I hope that I get to go and say goodbye... I really do.

Another interesting tidbit....
Last night I get a call from an ex who shall remain nameless... Apparently there is an undeveloped camera floating around from New Year's 2004. Said Ex, myself, TJ, his then boy, and my friend Jen's brother: were all at my house to celebrate that new years... things were bitter between me and said ex shortly there after and things turned bitter between TJ and his ex shortly there after so TJ and Ex decided not to develope the camera because they were both so bitter about the "failed relationships".... EX is now developing said camera... with and I quote "Incriminating photographs of all of us on it" ... I don't know how comfortable I am with this really. I like as little of that stuff out there as possible of me... I am in a relationship... I am happy... yes I did something I regret with said EX... which not everyone and their mother knows about and NO I DO NOT WANT THE PICTURES DROPPED OFF IN THE OFFICE FOR ME!!! but yeah... I do have dibs on all the doubles.. I dont think I have a single picture of TJ so it would be nice to have. god I can't wait to see this....
So there is my life in a nutshell lately... hopefully everything will work out but in the mean time... leave me some love :)

"If tomorrow never comes..."

So I am sitting at the computer anxsiously awaiting my fate for the night. My baby is taking me out somewhere... all I know is that it has to involve the basketball game that is on tonight because knowing her there is no way she would miss it even if the world was coming to an end. That's ok though. I have to admit for some reason bren has really been able to get me involved more in the sport of basketball. I dont claim to be some sort of an expert though. I know the basic ideas and a little bit of the other stuff but I'm learning... "somebody remind me why I am dating a jock!!" lol. Ok so i apparently get to go out both tonight and tomorrow night... two days in a row... this must be my lucky week. I know I have to get cleaned up and ready to go out... dress nice but comfortable... what does that mean anyway... (somebody warn me if this is starting to sound to girly)... Oh my god... what am I going to wear lol. Ok so moving right along... This week hasn't been so bad.. there have been some events that I would like to pretend never happened... no hunny I dont understand what she's thinking either... but all in all a good week.... to be followed hopefully from a good week off of school... I can't wait. So Bren and I are trying to decide what to do... we want to get all of our friends together like the week after easter or so so if anyone is interested in having a pot luck over here let us know. We are thinking wednesday or thursday... so far it seems like the thursday's have it. Let us know. Hmmm.. what else.... I love my baby, Jessie is cute as usual, and life is good... I can't wait to be done with school and give my girls the lives that they deserve... to much stress now and not enough fun and excitement. I think we really should move to kenmore as soon as I am out of school... hey if we can get there this summer after I finish and before Jessie starts school that would be prime I mean really... it's a much better school district and if we are going to be looking to move in the next couple of years then we don't want Jessie to get behind in school stuff... she's a smart kid and she deserves to be in a better district than the buffalo public schools... oh speaking of buffalo... I just found out that now all of our DMV's are closed except for the one downtown... not a single DMV in the Erie County... except that one... crazy economics... Ok well my baby is cleaning now and I feel like I should be giving her a hand... more to come later... I'm sure I will want to blog about my weekend and I am currently working on another 2 books that I will hopefully be able to post by the end of the week... yay!!! actual fun reading.. who knew that existed anymore? Ok later... I love you baby.

Book...

#4 Dreaming In Cuban by Cristina Garcia. This book is amazing. I would recomend it to anyone. I love the way the chapters are divided by character. This style allows the reader to see everyone's truths and defuncts the idea of a universal truth... everyone has their own truth about a situation and it is just as true as anybody elses. It only changes because of the person precieving it and their life experiences... it's an amazing book and I am glad I had to read it for my class... give it a try and let me know what you think :)

"Beauty and the Beast..."

You scored as The Beast. Your alter ego is The Beast! But that is only a name... you are kind hearted and sweet, people just misunderstand you. The Beast 88% Goofy 69% Donald Duck 56% Cinderella 56% Pinocchio 56% Ariel 50% Sleeping Beauty 44% Snow White 44% Cruella De Ville 25% Peter Pan 25% Which Disney Character is your Alter Ego? created with QuizFarm.com

"Torn"

Random thought *So I was thinking that maybe I would start titling my posts after song lyrics... so this is the first in a series.*

Ok so I am torn right now because as much as I love cousin Jen and I want to go with my babies to see her... I feel like I must stay home and do some work for school. I want to see Bren and I know she isn't even going to come upstairs really when she gets here we are just going to unload the car... load the car and they are going to take off. I miss her when she's gone but I guess if I stay I will have a little peace and quiet to try to get at least some of my work done so that I can spend some time with her later. So the plan is this...
1:15- unload car/load car/kiss my baby goodbye
1:30- Read for Masani's class... I have about half of what needs to be read done.
*If I finish Masani's book before bren and the munchkin are back then I guess I am gonna work on some of Hoppe's readings and paper so that I can get a jump start on that... or I will work on my spanish oral quiz that I have tomorrow. I hope I get the easy one... keep your fingers crossed.*
~ whenever... spend some time with my baby maybe play a game of cards or something... play a game with Jessie before bed. Set out her clothes for the morning. Let bren do the nighttime routine so that I can get a little more work done... then I want to make sure that I have some time to spend with bren. Maybe a little more work after that when she will be sleepy and in bed.
Tomorrow...
~5:30- Bren goes to work
~9:00- Get Jess on bus
~11:15- ready to leave when Bren gets home
~12:40- Meet with my spanish teacher
~2:00- Class with Masani
~5:00- do some work or hang out in the office til I need to get bren
~7:00- Get bren and Jessie from work
Work Work Work

Fun times.... anyway I guess I have too much stuff to do to be sitting on my blog... leave me some love :)

thoughts

Ok... so I am sitting here waiting for Bren to get home so I can head to a full day of oh so exciting classes and I decided that I should blog down some of my thoughts. First we will start with the ever present and important money issue....
~Ok so money wise... I have a little bit right now but not nearly enough to pay all the bills, rent and all the other stuff that comes along with living away from home. I definitly wish that I had more time so that I could get a job and be making a little extra cash to do some of the small fun things in life.... when you add in the price of a babysitter the cost of your evening at least doubles. We definitly could stand to get some groceries in the house. It seems like lately we have been doing a little bit of grocery shopping here and there when we have the money and it is gone before we open the fridge... problem. I know bren is working alot and she needs a little time to relax and I really want to be able to take her out to see rent which she is dying to see or a movie that we both want to see etc. but it just seems like there is never the money to do it and I feel bad about that... she deserves a break. I still have some books that I have to buy for a couple of classes which I think I am going to do today but then again there is more money that I won't have for bills... life is hard in a capatilist society lol... ok on to other thoughts...
~ I feel like i have been neglecting Fag and the activist side of me... you can tell by the address of my blog that this is something that is important to me and my life and I feel like I just haven't been able to do all that I was hoping to do. I was finally getting back on track and i had been to the last 2-3 meetings of fag for the semester but then I ended up having that week and a half of funeral fun which only added up to more time spent on school work etc. I am hoping that I will get to go to the meeting tomorrow but all in all who knows. I feel bad bringing Jess sometimes because as much as everyone says that they don't mind it is a distraction that is for sure plus there is the whole issue of is it fair to her to bring her to a meeting where she is just sitting quietly for an hour or so getting yelled at by me for making too much noise etc. It's not her choice to go and she's 5 you know. Anyway, so I read the enormous amount of emails that I recieve daily from fag and I wonder why I am so out of the loop it is because I am just not as active as I used to be. It's weird because I have 2 classes again this semester that require some sort of project and it was never hard for me to get the hours in and do these projects but now all of a sudden I find myself wondering where I am going to get the time for these things.. and if I am really donating enough of my time and energy to fag to count it... maybe it will help me to make a bigger dedication to the cause.
~Classes. Classes are going alright. It is hard to catch up when you miss that much school. I am a little nervous about a couple of classes... namely nutrition and Masani's class. Masani's class is more because of the fact that she is the chair of my dept and the effort that that class entails.. I am not behind but I feel like the paper I handed in yesterday should have and could have been better. As for nutritian... I just don't like it for one. I mean yes there are certain things that are interesting. Not so bad really but there are so many other things that I am just like... ok why do I care. I mean yes it is important to know what you need to have a healthy diet etc. but then again do I really need to know the why? Do I need to know exactly what happens to protein when it enters my body.. maybe the basics of you need protein for X,Y,Z but how it actually goes about working isn't important to someone that is not in that field nor ever will be. I mean look at it this way. It's not really something that affects my everyday life... as long as I know approximately how much protein I need a day and I come close to that then the inner workings of my body don't seem that important to me... plus I can find this information on the back of any food product... percent daily values is a wonderful thing. Ok so besides the boring argumnent.. because alas there are going to be classes that you would rather die than attend it doesn't help that we learn practically the same material on tuesday in lecture and and on thursday in lab. I am currently three labs behind because of my week and a half miss... I just can't get back on track because I can't figure out the damn program that we learned in lab class while I was out that is the basis of pretty much all labs from here on out... I predict a problem. Not to mention the fact that as far as I am concerned I look at lecture halls as stupid.. it's so impersonal and so pointless... I will walk out of that class probably knowing little more than I walk into it knowing. At least with women's studies the topics are relevent to my everyday life... and the main goal of the curriculum is to make you think for your self not to make you regurgitate everything you memorized back to the teacher for a good grade and then forget it all. At least in Masani's class I know I will walk out of that class having learned something... having been in the presence of greatness and having soaked up all of it's rays. I dont know this is just my little science versus social science rant that i tend to do every so often and i know there are people who would much rather be in the hard sciences and that is what makes the world go round because both sciences are important to our existence and our advancement... just don't expect me to understand it... it's not going to happen. I mean I have never done poorly in the sciences and this class it honestly can be attributed to lack of interest yes but mainly missing as many classes as I did. I mean for me to bullshit my way through a memorization class has never been hard for me it's just been pointless so I guess that is the message I am trying to get across and this my friends is why I think that gen eds or at least some of them are useless... why do I need to bullshit my way through a class where I feel I am not learning anything and walk out of it as empty as I was before when I could be using that time and those credits towards something that is important to me and will effect my life... ahhhhh.... I can't wait to be done with this god forsaken school.

Books

#3 Tracks by Louise Erdrich.... this was a pretty good book. It was required reading for a class but all in all not bad. It's a fictional book about a Native American tribe and the taking over of their land. If this is what interests you I say go for it but if not... then i dont' see it as a must read.

books

Ok so here is the deal. I really wish I could participate in this 50 books a year thing but alas... I am still a student and I spend most of my time reading for school so although I do not believe I will reach 50 books I am going to blog out the ones I do read anyway. Special rules... I will be counting books for my classes as long as I read them cover to cover.... I think that's only fair. Ok so as of right now this year... it's hard I don't remember what I read right before this year as compared to during but I would say that I am done with about 3.

#1 Lucky by Alice Sebold... this is an amazing book if you can handle the topic I would suggest it to anyone. Very powerful and non-fiction... check it out... she is the author of the Lovely Bones if anyone has read that.

#2 The Good Body by Eve Ensler... Ok all I have to say is it's by Eve Ensler and about half my friends should be running out to either a) buy the book or b) borrow it from me... it's an easy read of course and it is really good.

#3 still to come....

Ok so that is my update for now... I hope all is well with everyone and leave me some love... I hate checking my blog and not having any comments :( makes me feel unloved.

Wake and Funeral

So.... Cousin Jen, Brenda and I were talking last night and we decided that we could all write books about our families like David Sedaris and make a ton of money off of it because the stories are just too good. We were talking about the recent wakes and funerals that we had been to. Well let's break this down one day at a time...
The Wake...
So as usual we were given really bad directions and we had to call my dad at the funeral home god knows how many times. But about 10 phone calls and 2 stops for directions later we finally made it to the funeral home an hour late and in the middle of the mini mass that they were saying. So we wait for the end of the little mass and we walk in... sharon starts crying to dad and mom whisks me up to see grandma. The picture that they used in grandma's coffin was the last one that they took of grandma and grandpa on our porch the last time they came down to White Plains to visit... in one aspect it was nice to see cause it was a great picture... in another aspect it was rather depressing. So mom introduces me to my dad's cousin Pattie... who insists she doesn't know who I am and that we never met... apparently we had. I walk back to where my dad and everybody is and my cousin Jenny walks up to me and my dad. I haven't seen cousin Jenny since her sister Michelle's wedding. At that point I was so little that I wasn't allowed to go to the reception so me and the other kids were home at aunt linda's chilling when Jenny comes in puking and not being able to stand up straight... they told us she was "sick". So first thing Cousin Jenny says to me is... "Hey, I'm not your drunken cousin Jenny anymore" and I told her it was ok... I didn't think of her like that but if she was ready to let go of the title I had no problems picking it up as "Drunken Cousin Lori" lol She told me she knew where aunt linda hid the beer lol. So We're sitting around chatting and shooting the shit with a lot of people that i either don't know at all or barely remember and 5 of the great grandkids are running around the home playing. They bring my cousin Jenny a little cup of water and she starts to drink it... Tim makes her laugh and she spits out the whole cup of water onto the floor in the middle of the funeral home and runs out mortified. (I told you this would make a good story). So then I go outside to have a talk with my father and he says "I have something to tell you... (mind you this is the day before the funeral and I am sitting at a wake)... all the grandkids that are here were put down as Pall Bearers... are you ok with that?" SURE!!!! "But you know Sharon won't do it right?" So maybe a half an hour later... tops Aunt Pam comes over to tell me the same thing about the pall bearers but then she decides to add in that they also need readers.... ahhhhh. She said that grandma would love to have the grandkids as pall bearers because we would out-number the boys and she would just love that. So long story made short (well not really) I got out of the reading because I had a really bad cough but I said ok to the pall bearer position. Ok so... fastforward to the time to leave the wake... My family couldn't handle it... to be expected but damn I mean we were probably in there at least a good half hour longer than we were supposed to be because everytime we would make it to the door somebody would turn around and go back.
Fastforward... THE FUNERAL...
Ok so next day... My mom calls me in the morning after I have been up all night long throwing up to see how I was feeling... I told her that I was up all night sick and I wasnt' sure if I should be a pall bearer or not because I felt weak... she told me "Don't worry about it... it's not heavy" so being the grandchild that I am... I said "sure, I'll do it then." We make sure that we are going to get there ontime so we end up being at the church about an hour early... always fun... We waited in the car til mom and dad got there with aunt linda got out said hi to everyone and filed into the church. Everybody got there and the driver came to get the pall bearers... Ok if you are PAID to work with people who are OBVIOUSLY in mourning don't you think you would be nice about it... apparenly not. So we all walk to the back of the church... Uncle Jim took Sharon's place. He looks at all of us and goes... "You girls are Pall Bearers too..." there were three girls and three boys mind you. So the guy directs us to grab on and slide the coffin out.... so we do. we have it almost out of the Hearse and the guy looks at us and says " I want the girls in the middle" (because seeing that I am the youngest grandchild it is obviouse that we are just to small and week to carry anything lol) so the guy looks at Jenny cause she is in front of me and I am in the middle and he tells her "why don't you just trade places with your cousin... or whatever you are" (meaning me). Apparently he did not know that I was a girl.. nice. Ok moving along... people make that mistake all the time... I'm used to it. Apparently the man is sexist but still can not decipher who he should and shouldn't be discriminating against.... lol ironic isn't it. So we switch places and we do our thing... out of the car... into the church... up the stairs and place it on the wheels... we go to roll the coffin up the aisle but alas the church aisle is too small for the coffin and the pall bearers so our sexist leader decides that we should just forget it and just file up to our pew and he would take care of it... so instead of at least letting two of the pall bearers wheel the coffin up to the front of the church he does it with his buddy... interesting but whatever... ok so now all the pall bearers are sitting together on the left side of the church while both my family and my gf are sitting on the other side of the church... (sorry hunny). So grandpa was at the funeral... not at the wake so they decided to open up the coffin for my grandfather in the church and he decides that he is going to stand up out of his wheelchair (something he is not supposed to do) to give grandma a kiss... and there is my dad standing right behind him nervous as hell that grandpa is going to fall into the coffin.... thank god he didn't. So we do the whole catholic ceremony... stand, sit, stand, sit, communion, kneel, stand, sit yeah I think that's it... then we all file out do the pall bearer thing again and we head to the reception... talking to dad at the reception and he's like... well you know grandma wasn't catholic.... and I'm like "Why did we just have a catholic mass then" So as it turns out they gave grandma a full catholic burrial minus the catholic part... she was never baptized but as dad said... they didn't tell the priest that because "he never asked" So I knew grandma wasn't catholic and I was sitting through the whole mass dumbfounded as to why the priest would be saying things like "Our sister Pearl was baptized into christ and to christ she shall return"... I'm just sitting there going... no jackass SHE'S NOT CATHOLIC... but hey whatever floats the family boat I guess... Sin of ommision... lol. anyway so I guess that was my favorite part... My family somehow feels like they tricked god... well if the priest didn't know then god won't know right... I mean hell she had a catholic burrial ... he'll let her in.... :) doesn't put much confidence into that almighty catholic god of yours now does it... how many people do you know that are walking around going... haha I tricked god!! :) Ok well I guess that's all i have to say about this for now but ... if you see god tell him I'm sorry for the cruel joke my family played on him...lol :)

Granny

Ok so this is take 2 on the granny post... apparently the blog didn't like it the first time and decided to erase it so here I am out at bren's cousin and I am supposed to be drinking my heart out and instead I am determined to make this work so here it goes.

Rewind Many Years:
So after I got the phone call from dad on thursday night I was sitting around with Bren remembering granny in the good old days and I was telling her all about how grandma and grandpa used to drive down to visit us about once or twice a year and sharon and I would wait for their car to pull up to see what toys they brought for us and help them unload all of the fresh vegetables and stuff they brought from the garden. Then after they got there we would sit around and play rummy for pennies and danny wasn't allowed to play until he was old enough and even then he had to have the permission of his parents to gamble. We weren't allowed to wake grandma up until at least noon (and people wonder where I got it from), and then she would sit around all day drinking her endless cup of coffee ( I don't think I ever saw grandma drink anything but coffee until she got sick.) Coffee with breakfast, lunch and dinner and all times inbetween. And who could forget going up to all of the family reunions which were always held on grandpa's birthday if I remember correctly. Lots of good fun, family and games... such as pin the boobs on the lady!! (yup that's my grandpa for you). Going up and visiting them at the trailer and going fishing in the creek behind their house. Good fun.

Fast forward a couple of years:
Grandma was diagnosed with alzheimers and she started to slip away from us. They kept coming down for their visits and it started... well grandma can't play rummy with us anymore, grandma can't really get dressed by herself anymore. And as it got worse grandpa's true colors showed. I remember dad talking about how it became so obvious in these years just how much grandpa loved grandma. How he tried so hard to take care of her himself but eventually it was futile and he had to put her into the home despite his efforts.... I hate that home. I went to see her there despite my hate of the home and I remember walking in and grandma loved to walk... she immediately grabbed my hand and just started walking around the nurses station over and over again forever. (I think I was her favorite lol... just kidding but I was the baby grandchild). One time I was at the nursing home with Aunt Linda and mom and dad and we were swinging with granny on the swing and aunt linda had warned me to go slow and grandma said "Well you can go faster than that" so I gave a giant kick and grandma looked at aunt linda and said "Will you just shut up!" It became blatently clear that grandma had lost her ability to word things properly. Eventually she broke her hip and she slid so far down hill that she lost her ability to recognize people, talk and walk. It was hard to see her like that.

Fast Forward to Last Weekend:
Dad and mom came up last weekend to see grandpa because he was apparently having mini strokes every day. We all went down to the nursing home and were pleasantly surprised. Not only did we find grandpa to be better than we thought he would be but grandma was wide awake and laughing having a grand old time with everyone there. I hadn't seen her that well in years. She was wide awake and she was so happy to see everyone... she was laughing and for the first time in a while I felt like I was drawn to pay attention to grandma instead of grandpa. I was talking to her pretty much the whole time. Touching her face etc. She was laughing and I swear she said my name... the first words she had said in god knows how long. Now I dont care what anyone else believes... she said my name (more proof that I'm the favorite lol). When it came time for all of us to leave grandma's face just dropped and she seemed to get so depressed. She stopped laughing and just got sad. I think Aunt Anne said it the best. She knew it was her time and she had gotten to see us and she knew it would be the last time. I hope that's true to a degree. Anyway, to be honest I always leave the home feeling more than slightly guilty about the fact that I don't get there near often enough but this was honestly the first time I felt like I should make it there more often for grandma than for grandpa. I know it's weird and I can't explain it.

time to be social... fast forward to the wake and funeral to follow.

hard times

So yeah, I am still up at Brenda's mom's house. The funeral for her grandfather was yesterday and once I got home my dad called to say that grandma passed away. I have a feeling that this is going to be a rough year all around. Can't say I hadn't thought about the fact that grandma and grandpa weren't doing so well but I decided that I could probably handle it because we weren't that close you know... didn't see them too often. Wrong.... was up for a while, reminiced with Bren about shit and tried my best to stay positive. I guess this had to happen sometime the timing just sucked... more to come later.

Favorites

These are some of my favorite slogans I found on pins/bumper stickers/ etc....

Gay and Lesbian:
~ "But mommy, wouldn't gay marriages be happy marriages"
~ "Gay marriage ceremony: $5000. War in Iraq $87 billion. Bush not getting re-elected: Priceless"
~ "Against Gay Marriage? Don't marry one!
~ "Don't come out of the closet unless you have something fabulous to wear"
~ "Equal rights are not special rights"
~ "Face it, girl, prince charming isn't coming. He's living with Mr. Right"
~ "How come all the cool girls are Lesbians?"
~ "I don't mind straight people as long as the act gay in public!"
~ "I had to come out of the closet to make room for more clothes"
~ "I was once a tomboy, now I'm a full grown lesbian"
~ "If gays and lesbians are given civil rights then everyone will want them."
~ "It's not just a tomboy phase"
~ "Who says I want to fit in"
~ "Why do I have to get married? I didn't do anything wrong."
~ "Show tunes made me gay"

to be continued...

School

So it's that time again... first week of classes. Everything is going well so far. I have a bunch of books still left to buy and a few classes yet to have. Let's see this semester I am taking Spanish101, Nutrition, Women's Studies Junior/Senior Seminar, Women's Health and along with all that I am starting on my senior thesis. So it should be a busy semester but a fun one. Spanish seems easy so far... a refresher if you will. Nutrition well I will just let bren take care of that for me... what are girl friends good for anyway? Hoppe is teaching women's health so that is sure to be a blast... I have to admit that her classes seem to always be the best. Beth is awesome and she is my advisor for my senior thesis even though she is on maternity leave... that should be fun... baby!!! So I should get going soon because there is school tomorrow... if I dont' get snowed in which would be a blast.

But before I go... I just want to say that tonight was awesome... Bren and I stayed up playing games and having a good time. I must admit that we have been playing games a lot lately and I really enjoy it... laugh if you must but I think that game nights are my favorite part of being "old". Well... hopefully tomorrow night... after bren gets home at like 10:30 will be just as good as tonight. I Love you Baby.

And to everyone else... we def have to get together for another big dinner... maybe one where even more people can make it. I had a blast and thanks to all my friends I love you all :)

I told you I was old...

You Are 28 Years Old

28 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

straw-babababa-berry shortcake

You scored as Strawberry Shortcake. Don't stand for that new version crap. If you go shortcake, go shortcake all the way. . . Strawberry Shortcake 67% Thundercats 50% Voltron 33% Shera 33% Smurf 17% Transformers 17% Heman 0% Which 1980's Cartoon Character are you? created with QuizFarm.com

This one's for Sharon

The Mark Twain: A leisurely paddle steamboat
navigating the Rivers of America in the 19th
Century! A venerable Disneyland institution,
you date to opening day in 1955 and respresent
stablity, tradition, and a healthy dose of
Americana. You never make your passengers
seasick (in part due to the fact that you role
along your secret underwater track) and always
offer some great panoramic views of a Frontier
mining town, New Orleans, and back woods
glimpses of wildlife and injuns straight out of
a Samuel Clemens tale! Small children and old
folks like you best, but that doesn't mean you
don't know how to get out and enjoy the
nightlife, you play "Steamboat
Willie" in the nightly production of the
Fantasmic! Spectacular. Just one question,
just how is that you are always managing to be
headed "down river"?

What Disneyland attraction are you?
brought to you by

awww... aren't I cute...

You are a Sphinx! You are mocked for your unusual
appearance, but you are very loving and
devoted. People just need to give you a
chance!

What breed of cat are you?
brought to you by

....

You're a very mellow, care-free person. Your
exactly what calm, cool, and collected mean.
You never overreact or panic in a bad situation
and you always know what to do. Everyone goes
to you for advice because you never lose your
head so your very reliable. You tend to take
everything in stride, like in school your moto
is just sit back and relax not to say you dont
pay attention and work, but you dont overexert
yourself. Even though people come to you for
counciling(sp?) you can still be very quite,
your not good with making new friends, but your
extremely close to the ones you have. Remember
its ok to put your emotions out there even
though there is a chance they might get hurt.
Also in school sometimes its good to stress out
a little, just because you think you dont need
to study doesnt mean you should'nt, and also
try to push yourself more even though you might
be good where you are doesnt mean you can,t be
better. Also Please Send Pics!!!

Whats Your Personality(with PICS)
brought to you by

happy bunny...

you are the "I hate you so bad" happy
bunny. You hate everyone and eveything and your
not ashamed of it.

which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by

Something rubs me wrong about this diagnosis....

Your Heart is Purple

What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by

...

cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed

What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by

mmmhmmmm....

You have a mysterious kiss. Your partner never
knows what you're going to come up with next;
this creates great excitement and arousal never
knowing what to expect. And it's sure to end
in a kiss as great as your mystery.

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by

Couldn't pass this one up

Happy Girl !! plz rate =P

☻WhicH ( ( SeX / SexuaL PositioN ) ) ArE YoU ? (UpDaTeD n PICz) z74
brought to you by

Pure?? Who knew??

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You%20are%20PURE.%20

You%20may%20be%20very%20innocent%20and%20lack%20experience.%20This%20could%20change%20in%20time.

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more quizes!

Your Power Color Is Blue Relationships and feelngs are the most important things to you.You are empathetic and accepting - and good at avoiding conflict.If someone close to you is in pain, it makes you hurt as well.You try to heal the ones you love with your kind and open heart. What's Your Power Color? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

Did anybody find that peanut!?!?!?

%20src="http://www.quizdiva.net/vanillaflavor.jpg">

Your Sexual Flavor Is Vanilla

Sweet,simple,uncomplicated You go with the flow, and go well with any lover. You' cream.
Secret talent: Pole dancing

What Sexual Flavor am I?

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